Have you ever been in a situation that you really don't want to fucking be in, but you have no other choice so you just focus on one mantra: “Grow a Pair!” Like, what! I don't have to deal with this, I'm a grown ass woman - and then I got distracted by the word "pair" being a homophone.
Thank the universe for providing me with a strainer. It’s like a filter, but some things still get through. Life is much more fun when you’re not entirely sure what will come out when you open your mouth, but you are confident enough to know it won’t get you fired or divorced.
There is a quiet catharsis in decorating with the snark and sass that sometimes needs to be tamed. That’s why we love this Grow A Pear Hang Tight Towel®. It’s punny and practical, and no one’s feelings actually get hurt. Also, it makes a great conversation starter for entertaining your husband’s boss and his wife because someone couldn’t grow a pair and ask for that raise he deserves. 👀 And, to *side-eye* drive the point home, here is a perfectly “peared” cocktail recipe to serve your unwelcome guests...
Bourbon Pear Sparkler
- Ginger Beer
- Pear Juice Cocktail
- Kentucky Bourbon
- Fancy Ice
One thing is for certain, two things for sure: We don’t care if you use fancy ice. It is fun, though.
Eyeball everything, because who has time for exact measurements! I'd suggest using a traditional bourbon highball glass (or, as some of us folks in Dallas call it: an orange juice glass) 😉
Fill your glass 1/3 with a Pear Juice Cocktail; add one splash of bourbon. Fill the glass ¾ with ice and top with Ginger Beer. Stir and serve!
**You’ll want to ensure your Pear Juice is a cocktail juice. This means it’s sweetened with extra sugars, and you won’t have to use simple syrups to sweeten your cocktail unless you’re feeling extra, in which case: Do You, Boo!